I have lost many loved ones from addiction, I know an even larger number that are still fighting the battle and a small few that are in successful recovery. I am not an MD but I can tell you from first hand experience that almost all addiction stems from trauma. It then rewires your brain completely, making it almost impossible to recover from or even realize that it has become your disease. It is referred to as a chronic disease(Diseases which have one or more of the following characteristics: they are permanent, leave residual disability, are caused by non-reversible pathological alteration, require special training of the patient for rehabilitation, or may be expected to require a long period of supervision, observation, or care) but it IS possible to recover from it, just as so with most other chronic disease.
I personally am addicted to food, I absolutely love it! My addiction started at a young age when my father would not let my sister or I leave the table until we were finished with the food on our plates....no matter how much was put on it or how full we were. We would find ourselves still sitting at the table at 9, 10 o'clock at night because we either hated the food or we literally could not eat any more. If it got to a certain time, we would be punished heavily. It got to a point where we would hide food under the cushions of the dining table chairs and behind the bookshelves, just so we wouldn't be beaten: as I got older, this grew into an obsession with finishing all of the food on my plate, no matter what. The addiction grew after my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer twice and then my parents divorce, when I would eat to comfort myself. It was never "too much" at this time, but the food always took the pain away and was always there for me at a time where I felt completely abandoned. Fast forward to young adulthood where I was binge eating for days at a time, eating out at almost every meal and crash dieting when I noticed any weight gain. I would always lose weight but then I would gain it back 10 fold. We all have something that we are addicted to that takes away the pain, so wouldn't one think that if there is no more pain than there is no more addiction? I personally believe this to be completely true. There is no possible way to be pain free in life but it is possible to change the way we feel about the things that pained us in the past and the inevitable future pain we may go through. My recovery started with facing the fact that what I was doing was hurting and killing me. Many people are already at this point..."I know this triple bacon burger is bad for me but it tastes SO good. YOLO!" "I know this drug is tearing my family apart but I can't stop." "I know that we are going bankrupt but I have to have nice things." So what after that?? I looked into my past where I was reliving the bad times on a DAILY basis. It was extremely difficult for me to recall any good memories and at one point I figured that if I had forgiven certain people or events that I would be healed. Although forgiveness is a key factor in healing, it also has to come with a rewiring of the brain. When you focus on bad moments for so long, you are not only inviting more bad energy into your life but you are literally damaging the brain to where it knows nothing more than the darkness, no matter what light gets let in. To forgive something is to become ok with the fact that it happened, but to not let it hurt you anymore...you have to let it go(LET IT GO!)
I wrote a letter of the things I needed to let go, I burned it, and I cried.Yes, it was that simple for me! In that very moment, I felt my shoulders get lighter, my heart become warmer and my thoughts started to finally clear up. It was almost instant that I started to recall a memory of laying in the back of my fathers GMC Suburban "big bird" with my sister, under the carport while it was pouring down rain because we all loved the sound and to watch it fall over the roof top. My heart got warmer and I could feel the actual "rewiring" happening. I retrained my brain to focus on the good things that did and would happen. I acknowledged the things that went wrong and knew that they had no effect on my here and now or future, if anything, they made me a beautiful and strong woman. Changing all of these things in turn, changed the way I felt about food, my addiction. I still LOVE food but I love the way it nourishes my body when I feed it the right things, gives me natural energy when I'm down and I mostly love the way it keeps me alive now instead of killing me! Instead of trying to heal pain through food or any other addiction, I was now just trying to experience more pleasure and make more wonderful memories. It may seem simple or even impossible, but it's real! Please take the time to heal your heart, reach out to someone if you need help and most importantly, don't forget to be alive!
Do you have an addiction you need to face or let go of? Have you successfully recovered from one? Please share your story in the comments to encourage others and reach out if you need a helping hand <3
