How I Got Here...

As a child, I was always "the skinny one". My sister used to torture me because we looked so different and I could eat ANYTHING I wanted; and I literally ate anything I wanted. I grew up with an abusive father in many ways and a mother that was always working in order to keep a roof over our heads...or maybe to avoid the issues that were really there. She was diagnosed with cancer when I was 7 and food became my best friend through it all. I was very active in dance, where my mother would clean the studio in order for us to afford classes, so I stayed thin and under the impression that I was healthy. As I got older and exchanged my childhood activities for adult habits, I slowly started to gain weight(my sister loved this!) but always kept high activity jobs so it was never too much. Eventually I grew tired of the field I was in and made a HUGE change to a practically sedentary job(that I thought would be my forever career) and I literally blew up. It didn't help that the job was BEER saleswoman 😉 I didn't "notice" how much weight I was gaining even when I had to buy new khakis every month that would fit. I started having severe back pain while at work and was still oblivious until my boss made me see the doctor due to so many missed days. We took X-rays and at age 28, I was diagnosed with bulging and herniated discs. I was told I could either have a spinal injection or surgery and was given pain meds...I immediately ran for the door! I dealt with the pain because neither of those options were real options to me and I had no idea of any other options.

Fast forward to May of 2015, my mother who was 8 years diagnosed with Parkinson's was tried on a new medication to cope with some lingering symptoms. She began to suffer from severe side effects, rendering her helpless. Once an active and healthy person living with Parkinson's, she now could not walk on her own, get up or down, change her clothes or use the bathroom independently. After a lot of thinking and planning, I decided to leave my job temporarily so I could take care of her during this difficult time in hopes that we could get back to where we[she] were a couple months ago. During that time, we changed a lot of things and she improved but was never the same again. After a few months of working on things without the results we wanted, I made the difficult decision to not go back to work and be my mothers permanent care giver. My days were filled with driving, fast food, doctors and health care. My nights were full of only fear. I couldn't sleep anymore because it was the time that I thought most about what my mother was going through, what we were going to try next, if she was ever going to be better and what if tonight was the last goodnight. I was depressed and constantly worn out, I still had back pain but it was all in the back of my mind because I had someone else's pain and discomfort to think about now. I eventually ran out of saved money and had to start working odd end jobs just to pay my mortgage and care for her. We had both applied for assistance but neither of us qualified. I was working 25/7 and could not catch a break...but I kept on. 

Later that year I started noticing that I was either always freezing or feeling nauseous and over heated on a 70 degree day. I would take my temperature and it would be between 73 and 74 degrees. I had spoken to a couple friends who thought it had to do with my thyroid, but I kept on. I started having pain in my knee to where I could barely walk, it literally felt like there was fluid inside. I used a copper knee brace and it relieved some pain, so I kept on. By winter of 2015, I was sick with the flu and started suffering from severe migraines almost once a week. I had no insurance but decided to go to the doctor where they denied me any service unless I paid my bill in 
full, which I didn't have. I cried in the waiting room until my doctor finally took me in the back, handed me a post it note with the words "The whole 30" and "It Starts With Food" on it and told me that I was stressed and needed to read these to get better. I didn't understand how food had anything to do with stress OR my symptoms, nor did I have time to get these books and read them..so I kept on. After I recovered from my sickness in January 2016, I noticed that my right ear was now painful and my lymph nodes had been swollen since I first got sick and hadn't subsided. Great, now an ear infection?! I was put on 2 rounds of heavy antibiotics and felt even worse, now not able to eat correctly and having severe pain near my ear. I was referred to an ENT who looked at me like I was stupid and said "it's obviously not your ear, try a dentist, it might be your jaw." I was about to give up on everything at this point. I was tired of feeling like I was falling apart and having no one understand or be able to tell me exactly what was going on. I didn't have money to see my dentist but I had a feeling I would finally get some answers so I called the office and explained to them my situation. The doctor offered to have me come in for free for an examination and that we would go from there. He allowed a free X-ray to check for any infection under my caps and found nothing. He felt and looked around, asked me a ton of questions and finally stopped and stared, what felt like, into my soul. "I can see it in your eyes, you're severely stressed." I was so angry in that moment that someone else was telling me the same thing. I can't take a pill for stress. I can't lower my stress. I can't fix this problem. But in that same moment, I broke down in tears because I finally realized what he was saying, what everyone had been saying. "You did all of this to take care of your mother but you cannot take care of her if you don't take care of yourself. Who's going to take care of her when you let this kill you?" I went in for possible TMJ and I came out with the realization that I had done this. All of this... I was killing myself. 

I left the office and went straight to the library to get all of the books my Primary recommended. I read about all of the chemical reactions that were going on in my body when I ate the SAD(standard
American diet) on top of all of the stress I 
was putting on myself. I went on an elimination diet and lost 20 lbs. My mother joined in considering she had been having bowel issues and was finally eating whole meals again and feeling better than before. I finally confronted my sister about needing more help and support in caring for our mom. I spent my free time(while she was in with doctors) reading self empowerment books and walking around the block where ever we were. I found an old friend who got me involved in coaching with Beachbody which taught me the health and fitness and opened the door to deeper healing. I had lost weight before in other ways but I always gained it back because I wasn't aware of all of the internal work that had to be done in order to be truly healthy which I dove deeper into at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Through all of this, I quickly saw all if my ailments get better then eventually disappear. I was shocked! I had no idea what I was doing to myself or that such trivial changes could change my entire life! From that moment on, I knew I wanted to help other people get through similar hardships and to guide people away from disease and unhealthy lifestyles. I no longer work with Beachbody because I realized that it wasn't what was "right" for me, after all, one persons medicine might be anothers poison. But this also taught me that we are all individual and will have a unique way to heal and be healthy, which I am here to help you discover!!